Far too long ….

Hi guys , 

Hope you all are doing well ! 

It has been almost 4 months since I last posted on here, and to be honest I knew it may happen . I’m not gonna sugar coat anything at all , but I am a massive procrastinator when it comes to things like this. Finding the time to sit and write every now and again can be really hard especially when you get writers block (not saying I’m a professional writer ) but I had it for a while where everything in my everyday life was the same for around 2 months. 

All I did was at home reading watching Netflix . because I was out of work I found it hard to get motivation to write and to express myself so I just ended up not writing on here and just letting time pass by.

A shit tonne (excuse my French ) has happened in the last 2 months , I am currently employed again at a sturdy company with some lovely people. I met some incredible people and learned a lot of lessons on the way as well .

But what I have encounter was something I thought I would never / wanted to go through again and it happens all the time and I get that but it really didn’t want it to happen . 

Don’t know if some of you read a previous post of mine where I spoke about a guy friend in my life where I’ve spent the best part of 10 years trying to get his acceptance and to finally feel like I was getting somewhere with him on a friendship level and it turns out that I just had to accept the fact that his version of a friendship was always going to be different to mine . 

But it did.

And I’ve only come to terms with it as I’ve been writing all of this that its some what of a simaor situation in where I was only looking at it from my side and not theirs. It’s strange how previous experiences can help when you look back on them again.

I want to end this on a happy note , I’m using the rest of this year to find my true self and develop my person to the person I’ve wanted to be all along , I may write from time to time but I’m not going to be posting ever day. I will document my journey as best i can because I find expressing things on this helps me understand myself better .

I hope you all are enjoying the jolly season as it is coming upon us!!

Will write again soon , but until then peace out lemons πŸ‹

ο»ΏHahahahahah πŸ˜›

Hello everyone !!

Sorry I have been away for a while , reading a series that I just couldn’t put down and basically couldn’t rest till I finished hahaha , still have one more book in the series to go !! But I’ll be posting away soon enough !

Hope everything is going well for you all , and I’ve loved reading all your knew post when I can .

If it’s winter where you are hope your nice a rugged up with a nice hot beverage chillin with your friends and having a good time!!!!!

It it’s summer for you where you are hope you basking in the lovely sun , outside having a splendid adventure with your closet friends , and just have fun !!!

Keep writing 

Peace out lemons πŸ‹

Second chancesΒ 

I’m the type of person who gets along with pretty much anyone , until there actions towards me or someone else changes my relationship with them. I tend to think I can get a decent ‘vibe reading ‘ of someone when I first interact with them. But the problem is that I’ve been friends with someone for a long time , and I know them quite well . Our families are quite close , but for a long time me and this person have had quite a difficult relationship I’d catergized as ” a love hate relationship ” . We have and sometimes continue to butt heads whenever we are around each other. 
I’ve always found myself trying to get gratification or acceptance ( to put it plainly ) from this person because I’ve never had closure that I was ever good enough for them / accepted by them , I think it comes down to that I’ve always thought they were really cool and I wanted to be around them and be considered there friend ( high school mentality ) . Although we’d hung out countless times but that was due to our parents being best friends , and outsiders would consider us close friends , personally I never felt that kind of acceptance for them. And for a longtime I’ve lived with that feeling of being ”  close but yet so far away ” , and I always hid my true feelings about it , I’ve told my mom bits and parts of it but never fully delved into the full story , and I’ve never really told that person how I’ve felt because it would be dredging up like 6 -7 years of history and frankly never thought they be intrested to discuss it  . So I continued life seeing them and just acting normal and never really gave it a second thought , because personally I thought they just never cared about me and never was going to , but I cared to much about them to let them and whatever friendship we had go .

But recently I found myself in a situation where, I went to people with my problems and found some satisfaction but not enough for a divinative answer to my problem. So I found myself wondering if this person could help me , and on a whim of pure bravery I sent them a massage asking for there input and experience to help me basically spill the beans about everything and see if they could put my mind at ease . Frantically waiting for a reply after 30 seconds I knew that it was stupid and left it , went about the next few minutes to see that they replied and was accepting my offer . So I went trying not to get my hopes up that anything was going to change or my opinion of them would change either .

After spilling my guts about what my problems were and not knowing how to fix or make sense of it all , I realised that the whole time I had there attention and that they actually were 100% there for me . 

It took me back , for so long I had this undying need to know that they even had a 1% chance of giving a shit about me and my life that In my mind I was shocked and overwhelmed by the feeling that  I may have so bloody wrong about this person.

So we sat and chatted and finally made sense of my problems and talk and I told them about how I was so wrong about them , they they were shocked that I thought this way ( you were a dickhead for a long time  so I think it was granted ) about them , and funnily enough they gave some descent advice , and were there for me after, when I needed them , and our relationship is gradually developing into one that was one that I never thought would happen , and i am so glad that the moment I thought I was reaching for something that was out of reach , and actually messaging them , that I would have never known / given this person a second chance , that the relationship that I once though was all it was ever gonna be changed everything.

Now that person is someone I can rely on and reach out to and knowingly know that they will be there.

The world works in mysterious ways , and people can change and shock you at a moments notice !!!!

Sorry for the long one guys , hope you Tuesday is going well !!

Peace out lemons πŸ‹

Another one bites the dust !

It’s the start of a new week ( no game of thrones 😒) and as winter is coming in full throttle over here in Australia , people are spending more time inside snuggled up and watching TV .


As some of you may know , game of thrones has just wrapped up season 6 , and a lot of fans are now on the look out for a new TV show to fill the void until it comes back for season 7.  I’ve recently jumped on to a TV show called Roadies , it’s about a band crew “roadies” who travel with a band and it’s like behind the curtain antics of the crew .


I  would love to know what you guys are currently watching on TV ? 
Comment below πŸŒ€

Peace out lemons πŸ‹

#2Β 

Quote #2 of this beautiful Sunday 

I’m starting to slowly reach that point in my life where I’m so used to everything. People talking about you behind your back. People hating you for no reason. People hurting you and not caring that they did. Promises will be broken even though they were promised. There are people you use to talk to every day that you will never speak to again. The truth is, I can’t care anymore, it hurts me and it’s too tiring.

So I’m used to it.

-Unknown

Happy Sunday ! !

Peace out lemons  πŸ‹